Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When did angry sex become our thing?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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