Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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