sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
