He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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