it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
