its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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