You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize