Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
