I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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