Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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