Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
