some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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