He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
