I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
bring money and cleavage
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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