I bet he comes in French.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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