the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
