I want to stick my p in your. b.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.