We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That accounts for only three of the penises
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.