i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
