Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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