She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.