Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.