we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
