idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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