OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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