i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
