Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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