Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
