I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
