i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize