im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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