Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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