I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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