32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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