dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
