my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
