Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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