I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
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I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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