Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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