so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
