Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
