i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
