we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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