my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
