Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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