ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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