It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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