Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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