Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
