My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Found your dick twin last night
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
