What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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