Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
