after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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