I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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