Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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