he was CRYING into my vagina
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We need to get me chipped asap
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
