I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
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