i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Your penis caused this!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
